How to Find the Joy in Taking Control of Your Money with Laura Sexton

*Transcript is unedited (for the most part)

Gianna Diggs 0:05
You are listening to the mompreneur mindset podcast, a space where we empower you to build an aligned business. So you can spend less time on the things you think you should be doing in your business, and more time with the people you love. I am your host, Gianna Diggs. Let’s get into it.

Welcome back to the show. So today we have another guest episode. And we have Laura Sexton on the show, and a little bit about Laura. She is a wife and a mom of three young children, she and her husband paid off $372,347 of non mortgage debt. Now, having found peace in her finances, Laura is bestowing hope in her audience, by helping them find financial self trust, and helping couples find harmony in their marriage by defining and reaching their financial goals. So without further ado, let’s get into the interview. Hi, Laura, welcome to the show.

Laura Sexton 1:16
Thank you for having me. I’m excited to be here.

Gianna Diggs 1:19
Yeah. So today, I’m excited for our discussion, because we’re gonna be talking money management, and really how to find joy in taking control of your money, which I’m like, I love this topic. So I’m excited to hear what you have to say. So my first question is, why do you think it’s important for mom entrepreneurs to have a positive relationship with money?

Laura Sexton 1:43
I love that you asked this question. Because I recently worked with a with a client, and she was scared of money. She told me she’s like, Oh, I can’t handle it. I’m not any good at so I have somebody else do it. And what we found was her business wasn’t growing. And her business wasn’t growing, because she was scared of money. And so as she’s sitting there, and she’s afraid to charge, and she’s afraid to bring money in because she keeps saying, I’m not any good with it, I’m not gonna go with it, I’m not good with it, the universe isn’t gonna bring it to you, if you’re not any good with it. And if you’re saying no, I don’t want it, I’m rejecting it. Even if you’re rejecting it on a subconscious level, then it’s not going to come to you. So if you want to grow, you’re going to have to start at the smaller level, you’re going to have to start where you’re at right now to manage your money, your personal finances, your business finances, and the more we kind of get into it little by little by little will get more and more comfortable. But the more comfortable you are with your money management, the bigger your business can grow.

Gianna Diggs 2:45
Hmm, yeah, I love that. That’s, that’s super important. So how does taking control of your money? Like, how can that bring you joy?

Laura Sexton 2:57
So people don’t like the word budget, right? They hear they hear restriction. They’re like, Oh, I don’t like it. But what it does is it brings you freedom. Because before you get into those hard choices, and you’re like, oh, I don’t know what I’m gonna do, do I do this? Do I do that, or I’m tired. So I’m just going to make the easy choice. And before you get to those, when you’re in a good mindset, you sit down and you make a budget. And so then when you’re in the hard place, it’s not that hard, it’s easy, because you’ve already given yourself the parameters. So the joy comes in the freedom, the freedom that you get, for from taking the control, from deciding I get to control my money, I get to choose where it goes out, I get to choose how I make it. Right. We’re talking to entrepreneurs, here, we’re talking to women that want to that want to grow businesses. So take the control, you’ve decided I’m going to go out and start a business, take control of your finances, decide where you want them to go. And then feel the freedom of the choices that you are making. If that makes sense.

Gianna Diggs 4:02
Yes. I love that. Because a lot of people wait, like you said, when you hear the word budget, it’s like, it feels constricting, right? And it’s just like, oh, well, I’m, I got to set a budget. Oh, that’s over my budget. And then everything becomes like now you’re penny pinching every little thing that you’re doing, because it’s not quotation marks, not in budget. Whereas if you’re looking at it as like, okay, me having this budget is freedom. Because now if my car breaks down, I’m not like, oh my gosh, how am I going to fix it? Alright, it’s like, I’ve already had the money for it. Okay, I need to fix it. It’s gonna get done. I can move on. And having that freedom of just knowing that that’s there. I think that’s super powerful.

Laura Sexton 4:48
Right? And if, if we’re talking about and we say it’s not in the budget, we have to change our mindset. It’s not in the budget today, doesn’t mean it’s not in the budget next month. Right. We’ve been made a choice to say these are the things that we value. So we’re putting them in the budget. And so those are the things that we’re going to honor because we made those decisions. And then we’re going to move on next month. And that thing that came up last month that we really wanted, great. We put it in the budget. We choose what we want to spend our time on and what we want to spend our money on. We have to budget our time and budget or money this or two, those are two very finite resources.

Gianna Diggs 5:26
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love that. Because I think that, um, a lot of times, like, the download I had is just like, how we’ve watched others around us with money, and how it’s just like, I didn’t have this experience, because of, you know, my dad, he, he’s the type of business that he has, you know, he had money, but I’ve seen it, maybe with my mom is other people just like, wanting something and then being like, Oh, well, that’s not in the budget, or that’s not we can’t I can’t get that right now. And then feeling like, Okay, well, why not? Right, like, you know, my daughter, she, maybe I’m a little too free with her. But like over her, we just finished spring break. And I told her, my nephew, he had these Spidy Spidy and amazing friends, right? He had these toys, and she’s like, I really want them. And she’s like walking around with Gwen Stacy, which is the ghost spider Spider Woman and she’s like, I really want this. And so I got it for her. When we went to Walmart, and, and then she’s like, picks up, we saw Sonic. So then she picks up two more things. And I’m like, Alright, that’s it. Right, like, but she, I think, um, I’m not trying to teach her that, like, you know, you could just get whatever you want. But I also am not trying to teach her the restrictions of it. Because I feel like we’re just taught of like, you know, a lot of people’s money mindsets are there because of the restrictions that we might have had as children. If that makes sense.

Laura Sexton 6:53
It’s very important to, to set expectations for our children. One thing that I’ve started doing with my five year old is I say, Okay, you have a budget, we’re going to go to the store, you have $10 that you can spend today. And so she’s only five, Does she understand? $10? Not really. You know, we better give it to her in paper money. So it’s tangible. She can see it and she can feel it. And she understands that when this is gone, it’s gone. But she understands to go and she goes, mommy, how much is this? Mommy? How much is this? Mommy, how much is this and she has to set her own expectations. And we sometimes think our children aren’t able to do that. And we we we patronize them, we say, oh, kids aren’t smart enough, they’re not intelligent enough? Well, they never will be unless we give him the chance. So it’s really fun. And I really encourage you to do this with your daughter to take her to the store and say, Here’s five bucks, what do you want to buy? And they’re gonna go, I promise you, they’ll go find a nintendo switch and go, I want to buy that and you’re like, Oh, well, you don’t have enough money today. Let’s go do something else. And what we’re doing is we’re saying, Today, we don’t have it. But tomorrow we will. Or you know, after you work for it, you will and my daughter is on commission, she makes money. She doesn’t get an allowance. She’s on commission. So she helps at the house. She earns money. And then she goes and spends it. And she’s very happy. This my, my eldest is very much a spender. She enjoys spending money. But we encourage that we want to, we don’t want money to be a barrier for her. But we also teach her to spend it responsibly, we don’t let her go to the store with $5 and pick up something that’s 20. And we go oh, well, we’ll cover it and hide it. You know, we’ll just it’s fine. We don’t do that. Right. We allow her to be disappointed a little bit.

Gianna Diggs 8:45
Huh. That’s interesting. I love that. So what do you think the benefits are in a finding joy in money management.

Laura Sexton 8:57
Again, it goes back to that freedom. When we have the freedom to make choices, and the joy in our money. We’re going to go out and treat it differently. So when we’re stingy with our money, and we’re afraid, we’re holding our hands really, really tightly, and we’re going to hold on to the money as tightly as we can. We don’t have our hands open to receive. It is very difficult to bring anything in when your hands are already clutched really, really tight and we’re afraid of our money. But when we hold it openly, and we know I’ve got this, I am going to to rest in the fact that I have created a budget that I think is good for me and my family. I’m going to hold my hands open and I’m going to allow money to flow in and to flow out. I’m not usually to be completely honest. I’m not usually this energy focus, but there’s something about this conversation today. That’s just I’m hoping that whoever is meant to hear this is hearing this that we need to hold our hands open To receive while we’re giving while. And it comes down to I think one of the reasons I’m feeling this way is because we’re talking about moms who are entrepreneurs, right? A lot of moms who are entrepreneurs put mom first. And we think, Okay, I’m a mom, entrepreneur. So it’s the mom, my mom. And we can get in that restrictive mode of I’m doing all the things, I’m doing all the things, I’m doing all the things. And so it’s hard to make those choices we get put into decision overwhelm. So when we have those moments of peace, and we set a budget, we set up our boundaries. And we say, Okay, I’m gonna be open to whatever is going to come into my life. The joy there is the calm, is the control that we have. And the happier we are, as business owners, the more people want to work with us, the more people want to buy our products, the more people want to be a part of whatever it is we’re growing, generous people are fun to work with. And that’s what we want for you as a as a mom, intrapreneur. Like, we want you to have that freedom and that joy in your finances, we want you to find those spaces where you’re able to give back to your community, we want you to find those spaces where you’re able to have a generous spirit. So you’re joyful, and you’re generous, and you’re in control. Like that is the most attractive Entrepreneur on the planet, people are going to flock to you and buy your goods and services.

Gianna Diggs 11:34
Right, right. Yes, I love that. And as far as energy, it’s really. So we block ourselves a lot, right? And that goes into us, you know, being able to talk about manifestation or want to be able to manifest the life that we want, or the money that we want. A lot of times, there are blockages which is why I made this show really about, you know, the mindset behind everything that’s in your business. Because if our minds aren’t correct, and this is something that I deal with, even as a mindset coach every day, then it’s hard to receive the other things that we want. And so I love that you’re like keep your hands open, because a lot of times people are just say, Oh, I’m just frugal, and no, oh, I don’t, oh, that thing is like, why would you spend that much money, and they don’t realize that a lot of that language is blocking them from even receiving certain types of abundance. So I’m glad that you said that. So what are some tips on that you have for finding joy in money management.

Laura Sexton 12:39
I think the best tip for finding joy is to control what you can control. And let go of the things that you can’t. And what I mean by that is we’re living in a world right now where there’s crazy inflation, gas prices are high. Food costs are high. So when we’re living in a business where our costs are going up, and we’re stressed out about that, we have to move our minds from those things that we have no control over, I don’t control Washington, I can’t decide what they are and are not going to do. But what I can do is adjust my budget to cover those things. And say there are some things in my budget that are lovely. But they’re not necessary. And they’re there once but they’re not needs. And those are, those are things that I can cut out for now. Until I’ve increased my income or until things shift. But the important thing is to control what you can control. It’s I think that’s one of one of the areas in life where we have to look at it in all aspects, not just with your money. But with everything going on around you. If you were so focused on the things that you cannot control and other people’s action and what other people are doing, you can’t control any of that. And you’re going to stay in a pessimistic state because you’re focused on them. But you can’t control them, you can’t do anything about them, you can’t change them, but you can hold on to you and adjust who you want to be and change who you want to be. And once you do the work, and you take your joy back and you hold on to what you can control, other people around you are going to see that and they’re going to adjust the way that they act towards you. And they’re going to adjust the way that they interact with you. Because you’re holding that space and the joy and it’s contentment. And those are two really, really really big things in your financial journey.

Gianna Diggs 14:38
Right. I love that because I think that we we get wrapped up in you know, the things that aren’t going right in life, right? We’re like, oh, well this thing is not working. And you know, I gotta pay for this and I gotta pay for that. And I love love, love the fact that you said you got you can remove it for now. Right because we like to think in our minds that things are permanent, right It’s like, I can’t go get my nails done. For example, like, I can’t go get my nails done this month. Right? And it’s like, you know, it’s like the end of the world, like people are like, No, I can’t cut that out of my budget. You know, I’m using nails, but because I actually had to do that, right? Like, I was like, Oh, well, I can’t get my nails done for a couple months. Oh, well, and that it is what it is. And then eventually I said, Oh, okay, now I can go get them done, because now was in the budget. But that’s just an example. But yeah, I think that we, we get wrapped up in the things that we have to cut out because it feels like, again, going back to like, it feels restricting, like, oh, no, you know, I can’t get my massage this month. This feels restricting, or I can’t get my hair done this month. It’s like I’m being restricted, instead of saying like, Oh, no. Right now, I can’t do it. Because this, this, and this is happening. But next month, I can probably, you know, make my appointment because I you know, as you said, right now, I don’t have it. But that can change next month.

Laura Sexton 15:58
Right. The thing that came up for me really quickly when you when you said that was our budget only controls us after we tell the budget what to do. So we set up our own guardrails, we say, okay, these are the boundaries, these are healthy boundaries that I want to stay within. So we tell the budget what to tell us to do. So it’s not the budgets telling me what to do, I told the budget what to tell me to do. And that’s a really big mindset shift, you are in control, you are 100% in control. And if you decide, this isn’t actually, this doesn’t fit me in my lifestyle, you get to change it, you are completely in control. But you have to make those choices ahead of time. Because you need to make them when you are in a good solid brainspace. You cannot make them in the heat of the moment. You cannot make them when you’re hungry, when you’re angry, when you’re lonely, when you’re tired. Those are the times that we make bad eating choices. And those are the times that we make bad money choices. And so if we want to be in control of ourselves, when we’re having those feelings, we set the boundaries ahead of time. So when it comes to that time, we’ve already made the decision. We can’t go back on it.

Gianna Diggs 17:15
Right. I love that. So how do you stay motivated when it comes to your finances?

Laura Sexton 17:22
The best way to stay motivated is to set small, achievable goals that are along the path to your larger goals. So your larger goal may be I would like to buy a house. Okay. That could be a really big goal. So maybe you’re the next step is I want 10% of my downpayment to some people, they’re like, Okay, why? Why wouldn’t it just be the downpayment? Yes, we want the downpayment to be a goal, like we’re, but the point of it is to celebrate the small wins. And some people are like, celebrate, you just told me to make a budget. Yes. And I want your budget to have you celebrating, I want you enjoying life. Because nobody’s going to stick to it. We conflate diet and budget sometimes, because there are two words that people aren’t necessarily fond of. So if you have a diet, and it’s bland, chicken breast with no skin, white rice with no butter, and unsalted broccoli, you were only gonna eat that for maybe one or two meals, and you’re gonna be like, I don’t like this, this is no fun. I’m not doing it. But if we add some flavor, we add some spice, we throw in some, you know, like we make it fun, then of course, you’re going to sit down and eat that meal because you enjoy it. So when we’re making your budget, for it may be a season where you’re really restricting yourself. That’s not the budget restricting you’re restricting yourself, because you have a bigger goal. But when you hit that goal, you have to reward yourself and you have to say I’ve done it. And it’s like I use this analogy a lot. It’s like climbing Mount Everest. You don’t go from the base of the mountain to the top of the mountain in one day. You go up some elevation, you make camp, you go up elevation, you make camp, you go up elevation, you make camp, it is not a one day event. It’s going to take time and every time they make camp they celebrate because they’ve made it a little further up the mountain.

Gianna Diggs 19:21
Oh, yes, I like that analogy. So you kind of touched on this when he was talking about your client earlier, but for the mom entrepreneur who’s like listening and like I hear you but like money management, just it doesn’t feel fun. It’s never going to be fun for me. Like what is that piece of advice that you would give her?

Laura Sexton 19:39
Just start. First piece of advice is just start and sometimes starting can be figuring out where you want to be. I think my first couple of steps would be figure out where you want to be with your money. And then figure out exactly where you are. What’s your starting point. What do you have going on around you, so you know where you’re going, you know where you’re starting. And then bring people in around you that are at that are closer to that final destination to you. Because we’re the sum of the five people that we want to be around. So if you bring people around you that are good with their money, where you bring people around you who are growing a business you want, you want people that are further along that journey than you so that you can follow them and grow. I think that’s a really big thing. But if you don’t know where you want to go, you’re never going to get there. And if you don’t know where you are, right now, how can you ever get there, because you don’t even know what your starting point is. So those are two really important things. But the truth is, you need to decide that you’re going to be good with money. Because if you in your brain, say, I’m not good with money, you’re not gonna be good with money. But if you and your brain say, I’m getting better with money, and that’s your mantra for a while I’m getting better with money, I’m getting better with money, I’m getting better with money, you’re going to get better with money. You just have to decide that’s what you want. And then go get it. Right,

Gianna Diggs 21:14
right. And that’s important, because that’s all subconscious mind. Right? That’s, that’s, that’s what I do. And it’s like, oh, well, you keep telling yourself that you’re not good at this thing, or that you’ll never be good at it like your your subconscious mind your is never going to make you a liar. And what that means is like, the more you tell yourself, that you’re your mind, your subconscious mind, that that controls all the things that we do that we don’t realize that we do, is going to believe it. And so you keep saying I’m not going to money, your mind believes it like because you’re not a liar. They know it does. Your brain doesn’t understand negatives, you’re not a liar. All right. So you know that mantra is, is really key. So before we wrap up, please let the people know where they can find you online.

Laura Sexton 21:58
Well, before I say anything else, I just want to thank you for your amazing questions and your heart for the people that you serve. So thank you, thank you, thank you for that. I am online, my website is called Accelerate your legacy.com. And I truly believe that the legacy we leave is more than dollars and cents in the bank account. And I want to help you grow those habits, those tools, those mindsets that you need to grow a legacy that is generational wealth, but also good money mindset, good money habits. So accelerate your legacy.com. I’m at on Instagram at accelerate your legacy. Oh, and for your audience. I have a free PDF. That’s the seven steps to set your kids up for financial success. Yeah, I love that. Yes. And it’s it’s totally, it’s a free download. So there’s nothing but if you go to my website, accelerate your legacy.com you can click on the free PDF. And I really feel like it will serve your audience incredibly well.

Gianna Diggs 23:01
Yes, I think I’m going to look at that myself. Because we talked about it right? Well, yes, Laura, thank you so much for being here. I really feel like you given me a lot of insight into even just my own money mindset and how I can find the joy in it. So yes, thank you for being here.

Laura Sexton 23:20
Thank you so much for having me and for serving your audience. So well.

Gianna Diggs 23:23
Thank you.

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