Uncomplicating Emotional Wellness with Eva Rodriguez

*Transcript is unedited (for the most part)

Gianna Diggs  0:05  

You are listening to the mompreneur mindset podcast, a show that empowers you to create a business that’s authentically yours. Say goodbye to stressful days, juggling multiple priorities and feeling like you’re never enough. I’m your host, Gianna Diggs, a certified mindset coach and business guide for women and mom entrepreneurs. I’m here to empower guide and align you with the tools and the mindset needed to build a thriving business. That’s true to your purpose. In each episode, we’ll explore strategies, tips and success stories designed to help you rise above your obstacles and level up your mompreneur game. So whether you’re a first time entrepreneur or a seasoned professional, grab a cup of tea, some quiet time away from the kids. And let’s dive into the mompreneur mindset together. Are you ready? Let’s get into today’s episode.

Gianna Diggs  1:00  

Welcome back to the mompreneur mindset podcast. So in this week, we have another guest episode, and I’m excited about this interview, because we’re gonna be talking about emotional wellness with Eva Rodriguez. And so Eva is a certified life coach, Advanced Certified weight loss coach, a personal trainer, and she’s the host of the uncomplicated weight loss podcast. She’s a proud Latina of Dominican and Puerto Rican heritage and a single mom of a little boy named Christian. And so Eve is very passionate about helping busy successful high achieving women lose their first or last 15 pounds for the last time, so that they can stop the yo yoing. And finally learn to be confident with their inner and outer beauty. So in this episode, we’re going to explore what emotional wellness is, and how it impacts the life and business of mom entrepreneurs like yourself. Eva also shares tips on how to cultivate emotional wellness, and discusses common challenges that often arise. We also discuss how emotional wellness can positively affect business and practical ways to make sure it doesn’t take a toll on your work. So without further ado, let’s get into the interview. 

Gianna Diggs  2:06  

Hi, Eva, welcome to the show. 

Eva Rodriguez  2:08  

Hi, Gianna. I’m so excited to be here. 

Gianna Diggs  2:11  

So I’m so excited for our interview. Today, we’re going to be talking about emotional wellness as a mom, entrepreneur. So what is emotional wellness? For those who don’t know?

Eva Rodriguez  2:23  

Yeah, so I love talking about this emotional wellness is essentially how we are able to process our emotions and cope with life cope with life’s challenges. And so it includes your thoughts, your emotions, your ability to deal with whatever things are going on, and finding as much of a balance as you can. And it’s really interesting that one of the reasons why I love it so much is research has actually found that there’s a link between having an emotional balance, emotional wellness, and improved health, right. And so it helps with, you know, lowering your blood pressure with reducing reducing your risk of heart disease, with maintaining a healthier weight with having better blood sugar levels, and also having a longer life. So why it was part of why I’m so fascinated with it. It’s when you’re unbalanced in even if in one area, it affects everything else. And so that’s why I’m such a big proponent of like, let’s find some some balance let’s if you’re not emotionally balanced, helping people get to that place of emotional wellness, because our emotions literally affects everything and how we show up in life.

Gianna Diggs  3:27  

Wow, I’m glad you use that the study because I’m I would have never thought that okay, if you know if you’re sad all the time, like how that can manifest in other like, Okay, you’re sad. So now you’re starting to have back issues? And I don’t know, what have you. Have you read the motion codes?

Eva Rodriguez  3:48  

I haven’t is it? Is it? What is it? Is it good? It’s

Gianna Diggs  3:53  

it, I think it would be helpful if we did it, it kind of speaks on that it speaks on how we store emotions in our body. And so I’ll give you an example real quick, because that’s what it made me think of when you when you gave that example of like, how we were carrying emotions and how that affects our wellness. But it also it stories in our bodies. And I had a colleague who she was studying to be certified and actually use a book. So it’s a motion causes a book, but it’s also you can get certified in it and learn how to basically get the emotions out of their body. And I was helping her out with that. And it was interesting because I always had issues with my lower back. And and she was like, and she talks to your body. It’s kind of it’s very fascinating for those who don’t know what it is. But she’s like, oh, you know, do you have you spent despair? And I was like, I haven’t experienced that. But my mom had me at 17 years old and when she was pregnant with me, there was despair. And so she kind of passed that on to me. And it was so fascinating. I was like Oh So you mean to tell me that? My lower back right I have these issues. So, because of how my mom was when she was carrying me, and she released it for me, it doesn’t mean I don’t have back issues because I could be experiencing that from other things that I’m carrying that that definition, oh, you know, immediately that connected like those two things connected in my mind. So emotion codes for those that don’t know. And that’s a that’s a really good book to read. But yeah, like I was saying, I love how you just like, okay, hey, you know, you’re feeling this way, it’s gonna affect literally everything your whole not just your Are you healthy? But like, Are you healthy in all areas in your life? So that’s so that’s so interesting. So how do you cultivate and create emotional wellness?

Eva Rodriguez  5:42  

So it’s really interesting because I, when I was thinking about, about this episode, where my immediately went to people are gonna assume that she’s gonna be like, Oh, think happy thoughts and all this like, like positivity? And I’m like, No, absolutely not like it’s, it has literally almost like the opposite, like how you cultivate it and get to your emotional wellness is really learning how to manage your stress, right? Learning how to take care of your physical and your mental health, right. And that’s, those are the balance that’s like the balancing act that we’re constantly working on with our emotions. And the thing that’s really fascinating for me, when it comes to emotions, and dealing with emotions, and one of the things that I have found through my life, through my work as a life coach as well is a major challenge a lot of us have, is not wanting to feel negative emotions, right? And so, so many people think that emotional wellness or emotional balance equals you’re happy all the time, right? It’s not right. It’s a It’s not realistic and be that’s not what it really is, it’s really just being able to function in a way where you’re not almost like where you’re not riding the emotional waves. That’s where I find the balance. That’s where you find the wellness, if you’re having a good day, and you’re all the way up here and that now you’re having a good day, everything’s going your way, as soon as something comes, something doesn’t go your way. If you’re then writing the wave down, where it’s like, oh, and now I’m upset. And now I’m letting this get to me, right, the up and down. That’s what causes the imbalance there. But a lot of that comes from us not wanting to feel negative emotion because it’s uncomfortable. But what happens is when we’re when we’re avoiding that trying to feel positive, too fast, or trying to bypass an emotion that’s not comfortable. What happens with a lot of us is we start overeating. So basically like in order to avoid it, right, and we’re I don’t want to feel this negative emotion. Let me go eat over it. Let me go drink over shop. Let me go. A lot of a lot of my mom’s mompreneur clients are like, let me go learn something new. Let me write vacation, right? Like we’ll do anything. We’ll keep ourselves so busy to not feel that thing. Right? to not feel anxiety to not feel overwhelmed, right. And I know for a lot of us, I know you mentioned your back. I wear everything on my shoulders and my neck. So as soon as my neck and my shoulders start to hurt, I’m like, There’s something something’s going on. No, no emotion, there is an emotion that I’m trying to avoid somewhere. And it’s like in your body will basically be like, Okay, since she’s not just she’s not processing the emotion, I’m just gonna show up in a pain or an illness of sorts, right? Like your system all of a sudden is like, well, we’re not. We’re not balanced emotionally. So we’re going to, we’re going to show it physically. So that’s why I say everything is so interconnected. Because what goes on on the inside eventually manifests on the outside, in the form of our health, whether or not we’re healthy or not, a lot of it is very intertwined with our emotional health.

Gianna Diggs  8:46  

Right? It’s funny when when you were talking, I’m showing my my kids age right now she’s five, I immediately thought of in Konto. And Peppa and the, you know, the aunt that she does, she controls the weather. And, you know, looking at it from like, of course, it’s cute now as kids for kids, but obviously, there are adult themes. And the first thing that I thought was that her mom would not let her process her emotions. And so that’s why she had those rain clouds all the time. And like she would you know, like the hurricane on her on her wedding day, right. And Bruno’s, like I saw how you were and because you wasn’t processing that you cause a hurricane on your wedding day. Right? And, and her abuela was destroying the family. Right? Because she was so focused on every little thing being perfect, and what Pepa was like, okay, she’s like think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts and nothing was she still had rain clouds? Because she wasn’t processing her emotions. No, that’s the adult take on the movie. My daughter loves that movie. So, um, so that was the first thing that came but I also it just my thought process. Again, it goes to like my use of human design. And, and just, you know, the decision making right of like being for the emotional authorities out there, which again is like 50% of the world population of allowing yourself to move through that in anything that you’re doing in your decision making process of like, okay, there’s no truth. And then now is the theme. There is no truth in the now. So being high being so excited being, you know, being like, Oh, you feel it. And then next thing, you know, you’re in a low, and you’re like, Why do I feel this way, and you’re not letting yourself process so you think something is wrong with you. And really, that is your mechanics. And so I love that, you know, you brought up like, don’t always have to think happy thoughts, like we can allow ourselves to be in a negative emotion, because guess what, clarity comes from that?

Eva Rodriguez  10:53  

Absolutely. And one of the things that I I really I stress this a lot when I’m when I’m coaching and teaching as well as it’s the concept that life is, is truly 5050 50%, negative 50%. Positive, right? And so if we try to just say, you know, no, I should be happy all the time. It’s, it’s exhausting. And I know people that have tried to be like, what’s like, well, let me just find the silver lining, they just refuse to feel like a negative emotion. They refuse to feel that. And it’s like, you’ll be searching forever. What happens though, is, if you’re, if your mind and your emotions are not connected, that’s where like, cognitive dissonance happens, we’re so like, you’re upset, but you’re trying to convince herself that you’re not right, or you’re sad, and you’re trying to say, you’re trying to smile through the tears. I’m like, No, I’m fine. You know, you’re trying to like white knuckle, your way through an uncomfortable emotion or a negative emotion as if it’s bad. And a lot of times, it’s like a huge myth from people. It’s like, negative emotions are bad, just because the the negative is in it, right? It’s just the way I like to explain it. It is, there are no bad emotions. It’s just how you feel, right? It’s just like, what are they making you feel? Right? Like, you don’t want to be happy when someone dies? Right? Because the perpetually positive people are like, well, everything’s great, right? Like, even when terrible happens, it’s like, and your brain is like, No, fuck that. Like, that’s not how this, that’s not how this works. Right should be able to feel this. And so and it’s okay. And a lot of people, I think, judge themselves when they’re not feeling happy all the time, or on all the time or are protective all the time. And that’s when they try to bypass that. Thinking that, like, I’ll just work my way out, I’ll grind my way out of it. And what you end up really doing is just like getting yourself like working yourself into a tizzy. And at the end of the day, you’re even more stressed than you were when you started. Because not only did you have all of these things you were trying to avoid dealing with, because they don’t go away just because you try to ignore them, right? It’s just like xiety and overwhelm. And all of that will just sit there, they’ll just be like, Oh, you don’t want to you don’t wanna deal with me right now. It’ll come and knock your door later, it’ll come and sit down next to you when you’re trying to have dinner. Like the emotional point. Anyway, it’s like the movie Inside I, since we were talking about in concert, I’ve watched all the movies. So it’s like a night out, right? Where they’re talking about all of the emotions, right? And it’s like, and there’s joy. And everyone’s like, Tang joy is just always happy. But we have all of the other ones too. And they all equal airtime. Right? They all deserve like not like we want to say like, oh, no anger is bad. Like, let’s put it away. No, let’s actually not Why are you angry? Right, let’s, let’s let’s go through what’s happening here. Let’s feel what this angry actually feel like what do you know, and almost like when we get to normalizing that we’re human beings, and we are supposed to have the whole gamut of all the emotions, half of them will be good, and half of them will be bad. There will be times in our lives when we’re happier than others. There’ll be times in our lives when we’ll be sad, right? If you suffer from depression, I suffer from depression for many years. There were there were very dark moments, but I wouldn’t say my entire life, right? It’s like sometimes we do these grandiose statements. Right, right. And he also like it all the time, all the things, nothing works for me, right. And that’s, again, that brings you back to like emotional wellness, when you are able to be so comfortable with any emotion that comes your way. And that’s one of the most powerful things that I learned as I became a life coach is once you’re able to feel any emotion all the way through and you realize that it didn’t kill you, because they can’t, right, it literally is just a vibration in your body like that is all emotions truly are. They are a vibration in your body. And as long as you don’t try to it’s almost like a think of a beach ball. Right? And if that emotion is the beach ball, and it’s an emotion, you don’t necessarily want to feel it’s the equivalent of trying to push it down under the water. It’s just going to keep pumping. It’s going to keep pouring. Right? And so no matter how hard you try, you cannot ignore that emotion. But if you just let it do what it does, you push it down and it comes right back up and you just let it float. Right. It’ll probably take about nine It takes about 90 seconds to process an emotion and our body, let that emotion float away. And then you can move on, then it’s been, it’s been processed. But what so many of us do, because I’ve been guilty of this for so much so many years. With so many of us too. It’s just like, I don’t want to feel this. So I’m just going to it’s a constant battle, constant battle, constant battle. So now you’re not only fighting, whatever stressing your whatever is causing this, but you’re also like in a battle with your own emotions. Right. And that’s what causes unwellness, essentially, are the imbalance that a lot of people have?

Gianna Diggs  15:35  

Hmm, yeah. Yeah, that’s, that’s powerful. So what are some of your favorite tips for staying emotionally? Well, oh,

Eva Rodriguez  15:45  

so for me a lot. Mindfulness plays a really big part in, in my emotional wellness. So for me, it’s really getting to getting myself to a place where I just give myself enough quiet time, at least once a day, I like to either start or end my day, ideally, both. But when you’re, when you’re a mom, when you’re a single mom, it is harder to have to have private time, and severe weather, like wake up and have a little bit of extra space. But it’s really important for me to create spaces like that in my in my day, and in my life as well. So I love meditating, I don’t meditate for long periods of time, like 10 minutes at the max is usually what I do. But that’s really, really helpful for me to just get grounded, right to just really get grounded with myself, I love to journal, my thought downloads, like just getting everything out of my head. Just even if it’s just like sentence by sentence, just like all the thoughts, all those little thoughts that are kind of percolating, because you know, we have like 60 70,000 thoughts a day, a lot of actually negative, a lot of them are actually repetitive, repetitive or negative, we get into these loops. And so I always like I love to journal because it just takes it out of my head and onto paper. And even if I never read it again, it’s nice. It’s just not there anymore, but it just gives you space to breathe when you put it on paper. So I love journaling as well. EFT is something that I know you do it as well. Yeah, I love to do EFT when I have the time to just when I’m really feeling like, like, right when I get this like fanciness to me, I like to do it then. And what I often tell my clients that they’re like, I don’t want to meditate, I’m like, well, then we’re gonna do EFT because at least you’re moving or you’re doing things and it has a similar effect of just like bringing you back to groundedness. So those are like some of my favorite tools of just like creating, I think it’s just very important to create space for yourself. Especially as busy mompreneurs we’re like the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed, we’re either taking care of our children are running our business. And sometimes we’re doing both at the same time. And so it’s very easy to like, really, like run yourself into the ground if you don’t create these boundaries around your time and your energy. Because if you don’t then it’s like if you don’t set boundaries, people are going to be everything people things life business will just start coming all the things your yard all up into your yard like Hey, hi. I have a problem here. Like all the things they just sit there. So you really literally have to put a fence around your like an energetic barrier around yourself in order in order to really protect your emotions and emotional well being for sure.

Gianna Diggs  18:23  

Wow, I love that. Oh, do you call it emotional fence? emotional barrier? Yes, the fence the emotional barrier? Oh, yeah, that that’s, um, that’s kind of cool. I’ve never actually, you know, thought of that, like, I know, like, I’ve dealt with like a or cleansing and like energetically putting a wall around your you know yourself like an imaginary like, you know, shield. But I love the idea of the energetic, the energetic fence, the barrier, because there’s always a distraction is always someone calling you in, you know, for something it’s like, it’s like, Oh, what happened now and it’s like you have to manage trying to manage that person, if it’s a family member and what they’re calling to tell you and you have to manage, trying to keep them calm. And I’m speaking from experience trying to keep them in a good state of emotional wellness and try to deal with your own like, Okay, I got to deal with this right now. How do I expel this so that I’m not holding on to it? So I like that a little energetic fence. That’s cute. So, you know, how has your emotional like being mindful of your emotional wellness? How has it helped your business?

Eva Rodriguez  19:35  

Oh, wow. So when I first started when I first started my business a few years ago, I was not as as balanced as I am now. So like I can see it from like back then and where I am now and just like the growth because I was literally that person that would write write every emotion so if it was like, Oh, I’m getting likes or I’m getting you know, emails people are responding to my emails like all of these things. I would get so excited right because you Like so eager, and you want to help all these people, even the same thing with like podcast downloads and all of these things that you’re just like, oh, but then if it wasn’t going as planned, right, or if it’s like, Oh, I’m not hitting this goal is happening too slow and all that, I would make it always mean, oh, it’s me, it’s me, I’m doing something wrong. I don’t know what I’m doing. What was I thinking? Let me go back to corporate like I was always because like all of these thoughts, right. And as I started to just like, learn more, grow more, just really get my reps. And really, it really culminated with my life coaching certification, when I started to really learn the power of feeling a feeling. And I had actually had a therapist tried to teach me this about a year and a half ago, and I was like, neck, right? Like, I was not open to it. I was just like, No, I don’t want to feel this. I don’t want to cry. Like I thought she was trying to tell me to cry all the time. And I was like, I don’t have time to cry all the time. Because I have a business to run. Like, when it’s time for that, like, I need to get this out. And so what I started to learn, though, as I really started to, to study emotions, and study, well being and wellness, and how it all works itself together, it was when I really started to accept, again, the 5050, it’s not always going to be good, it’s not always going to be great. And it’s not always going to be awful, right? Sometimes it’s just we’re in the middle, I also started to, to really apply, finding neutral, finding the neutral between the two, right, because there is a negative emotion, there’s a positive emotion, neutral is always the easiest place to go when you’re on either end, right? Whether it’s like I’m, I’m too attached to the outcome here, that was a big thing. For me, I was always attached to the outcome, right? Even when I work with my clients, I’ve always I’ve had to like create, again, emotional boundaries and barriers. Because I want them to win, I want them to win so much. But I can’t do the work for them, I can only be there. Right. And so it was even with that, where it’s like if my client was having struggling, and then I would kind of take it on and like I want to help so badly. And I had to really get to a place as I’ve matured through through my business and with my practice of just understanding where again, about the boundaries are really where it all kind of came into play, for me establishing those boundaries. And also, just getting to a place where I could just know, even if I’m having a hard time, even if I lost money on an investment or on running ads, or if I didn’t get, you know, the numbers that I wanted from a launch or even if things didn’t necessarily go exactly as planned, it was starting to train my brain to think about the lessons. And so it’s a whole the whole idea of you never you don’t fail, you learn or right. Either we’re either winning or you’re learning or something like that. I had to really get to a place where like that became real for me, or it’s just like, Okay, if this didn’t go as planned, it doesn’t mean I failed. Like I stopped making it mean something about me. And I think a lot of a lot of us do that, where it’s like, this didn’t go well in my business. That means I was wrong with me, right? What did i What’s wrong with me, maybe this is my mind will always go to me, this isn’t for me, maybe entrepreneurship isn’t for me. But I don’t want to work for a person either. So what we’re gonna do, and I can’t be broke. So it’s just like, right? Like, we get ourselves kind of in this, we work ourselves up to that. I used to be such, so guilty of that. And when I started to just really get to a place of just like, Alright, let me get to the facts, right, like, let’s just let me take all of actually take the emotions out and focus on the facts. That’s how you get to neutral, right? Because if you focus on like all of your like, either positive or negative, if you focus too much on either extreme, it’s too charged, right? You’re either positively charged or negatively charged, and your energy, it just it takes up your energy. However you show up that way at all times. Get yourself to neutral, and then you You’re fine. Either way it goes. It’s like oh, the launch didn’t go as planned. Okay, let’s look at the facts. Look at the data. Oh, the launch went amazingly well. Great. Let’s look at the facts. Look at the data. What do we keep doing from here? And it’s the same either way, right? Yes, yes. And once I learned that, that was when I was like, Ah, here we go. Like, this is this. I didn’t, I was like, I feel like I arrived to a new level in entrepreneurship. When I was like, Oh, it’s just like, it’s just numbers. It’s just math. It has nothing to do with with who you are as a person. Right? Like with me like because a lot of times, you know, if if something if something fails, whether it’s a launch or whether it’s you don’t get whatever it is that you wanted in your business, you don’t get the sale, whatever it is that you’re offering. It’s it’s when you’re especially when you’re first starting out, because our business is our baby, right? Especially for solopreneurs especially if it’s like we created it out of like our mind and it’s just like I want to do this thing to help people. Of course, it’s it’s very natural to make it personal. Like it’s like when people say personal it’s business when you’re in love. It’s the same. Like it is personal and it’s business right it’s it’s not personal. Business. So it’s sometimes it’s hard to separate the two. And, and I didn’t want to be that person that was like, let me just find the silver lining and all the things and just like be like No skipping around in Fantasyland. When I, when I finally learned it was just like, just go to neutral, right? Whatever, wherever you are, land at neutral. And when you’re at neutral, only the facts matter. And then you’re able to determine, Okay, what do you want to keep? What do you want to change, start, stop, continue, you can do that whole process, but never making it about anything. But this situation at hand, when you learn how to do that, it takes away the this, it’s like a, this heaviness kind of gets lifted from your shoulders because it’s like, win or lose, right? It doesn’t mean I’m a winner or a loser, it means that like you kind of beat you’re able to get in the boundary, right? You’re able to separate yourself, your yourself like in this capital S self from your business. And once I was able to do that, everything kind of everything felt so much more calm, and I just stopped being so at the effects of all the things that were happening around me.

Gianna Diggs  26:10  

Right? You had me in a few thoughts came to mind. So my coach, my coach Mia, she always says, What does the business need? Right? And she because I know for a fact, like when I first started in like, oh, I kind of launched something that I’m just like, oh, I don’t know. And, you know, and kind of attaching myself to like, you know, feeling like no one cares, right? And she always used to like, it’s not what you need, like, what does the business need? And like the business is separate. And it’s like, I think like you said, because it’s our babies, it’s very hard for us to be like, especially as women, right? It’s very hard for us to say, Okay, this is the business this doesn’t represent who I am something you know, I love how you said you just like okay, here are the facts. Because as emotional as humans, right, our first thought is to go into an emotion like you said, whether it’s oh my gosh, just launched it so well. And you’re so excited. You’re jumping for joy, oh my gosh, this launch was trash. I’m trash. I think you start going to I’m trash. This business is trash, right? And you start seeing the negative thing. And instead of being like, Okay, let me sit down. Let me maybe I put it up, maybe I don’t look at it for the next three days, right this and I am going to meditate. And I’m going to do all the other tools that you said I’m going to you know, do some tapping, right maybe about sales, because that’s, that’s one of my things is like okay, tapping on sales, right talking about you’re launching, and get those emotions out and then come back to the drawing board and say, Okay, let me look at what I did. And like, what did I do? Well, what didn’t I do? Okay, this is what maybe I can try to do a little bit better. And also recognizes the other thing that’s word that just literally downloaded is momentum, right? And some people are like, Oh, my gosh, I had three people buy this thing. It’s a failure, like, okay, so three people bought it now. Let’s revamp try it again. Maybe in a couple of weeks or a month or two. See? Right. Okay, now five people are okay, you’re doing something a little bit better. Let’s try it again. Let’s let’s take on what we did. Well try it again. In the next two months. Oh, now 20 people have bought right. We were so quick to quit. And that goes back to I love you said putting up that that boundary that fence because that’s when that boundary is not there. And we’re looking at it like it’s us. And it’s everything that we didn’t do, like I failed. That’s when you quit before you hit the slope. And you’re now about to shoot up right? Like now the rocket is. You’re right there. It’s launching. But you stopped before before that fire is lit because of something not working. That’s what that’s what came to mind. So I love you. I love that you said that. So, I love Oh, this is the question I asked every guest. If you had advice, right for a mompreneur, who is just like she’s juggling? Like, I’m gonna use my, like my situation, for example of like, I have an infant right at this current time we’re recording this. He’s three months. So I’m gonna use that as an example. Maybe they have a small child, or maybe their kid is under 10. Right? A lot going on? Yes. And right. They’re managing trying to get their business. Like it’s right there. Like I said, They that fire is getting ready to be lit but it’s something something’s not clicking to light it and they it’s like so many so much going on, and they’re trying to have that emotional wellness, but it’s just not happening for them. What piece of advice would you give them?

Eva Rodriguez  29:46  

Oh, I love this question. So I would say in a case like anytime we’re trying to like unpack emotional imbalances and you want to get to emotional wellness. So the great thing is like you know where you want to be like you see where you are Right now, and when you visualize future you I always like to start there like, what does she What is she doing? And how does she thinking how is she feeling like the emotionally balanced and well, version of Gianna, right. And then I like to say there’s this method that we use in coaching called for ends. And so basically, it’s the first thing you do is you name it, so you just name exactly what you’re struggling with. And just, it’s almost like that thought of, like certain emotions, especially like shame. For example, shame cannot it can’t survive in the lights. Like once you put a spotlight on it, it’s like, oh, it’s exposed. So whenever you name when you name an emotion, especially a negative emotion, right, it takes away a lot of the power. Because a lot of our little sneaky thoughts and emotions are just like they they’re kind of lurk in the shadows of just like, you don’t know what you’re doing. This is too much for you. Oh, it’s like it’s that looks just like that little voice that’s just pestering. And so it’s almost like once you turn on the spotlight, you’re like, What do you think? Right? Now there, now it’s exposed. So the first thing you do you just name it, you just acknowledge that like, Okay, this is what I’m feeling like, this is what I’m struggling with right now. And I don’t like how it feels like I’m struggling with with overwhelm. I’m struggling with anxiety, just name it right. The second thing, so the second end in the four end method is to normalize it, right? It’s totally normal. And a lot of the thing, things that that we go through as moms as mompreneurs, it’s, we’re not taught any of this, like we’re not taught emotional well being like we don’t know, right? Like, we don’t think it’s like, dang, like, I’m just really struggling right now. normalizing it is, is you just had a baby, like you just had your body literally just created another human being. Right. And so now you’re juggling not one but two children, and a household and a husband and a business and all these things. So this is normal, any type of overwhelming any type of anxiety or any type of like, oh my god, what is life is so normal, considering your circumstances, right. So that’s normalizing it, and then we want to neutralize it. So again, you go back to kind of what we discussed, but taking out all of like the emotionally charged words from the sentence, right, just stating the facts of what you’re dealing with, like state the facts of like the struggles right now, like, these are the things that I need to do. This is what needs to happen. This is what my current situation is minus the adjectives right? Minus overwhelmed and a lot and stress and all of these words, right, we take all of that out and just strip it down to the basic facts, right facts, like the facts of the it’s a little law, like no one would argue with you that this is actual, factual. And then the last step is Ness, next best action or next best thought, right? So like, what is the next best thing that you can do once you’ve normalized and neutralized it? What is the next best thing that you can either do? Or think like what thought? Like what thought would get you to a place where you’re feeling? You’re just turning down the dial on the negative emotion, turning down the dial on the overwhelm? What is a thought that you could think that could be like, Oh, well, it’s just this right? Or? Or I could do more? What’s, uh, what’s an action? Or what’s a step you could take? Like, what is just one thing that would maybe take just the smallest thing off your plate, or would help maybe with streamline something right? Once we’re able to the reason why this method is, so I like to use this one is because it’s very simple, but it takes it just takes all the emotional charge out of it. Because when we are in high emotion, we are low in intellect, essentially. So when you’re too, like, that’s why they say don’t make life changing decisions when you’re emotionally high state, right? Because that’s usually where we have regrets. Right? It’s very important, because the reason is your brain just shuts the logical start part of your brain shuts down when you’re in high emotion. So that also means you can’t be creative. So oftentimes, as as mompreneurs, we are we have to be creative, because we’re business owners, when we’re creating things are creating content or products or whatever we’re creating. If you’re in a state of high emotion, you can’t think clearly. So when you’re able to bring it down to neutral, and just neutralizing it and normalizing it, and just looking at like, Okay, this is what we’re dealing with, what is the next best thing I can do in this moment to help me get more balanced to help me feel more emotionally? Well, once you’re at that place, you’re able to your mind opens up to just more possibilities. Versus if you think about where you are when you’re first starting it where it’s just like, right, when you’re in like a state of panic. Your brain is just thinking about surviving. It’s just like, oh, no, the kids are alive tonight. Like they got fed. Like, that’s all I can do. You know, it’s like and once you’re able to get yourself out of that high emotional state, and just bring yourself to neutral, right? Did you notice how it wasn’t like, oh, just think about all of your blessings and you know, all the wonderful things that you like milk because in your brain when you’re there, your brain doesn’t want to think about that. Your brain is like nah. Like, no, no, well, problem right now we have to figure this out right now. So getting yourself right down to as neutral as you can, opens you up to just other possibilities. And then you just take that step and then you just kind of keep repeating it until you get your cell you basically are like, climbing your way out of a red. That’s the easiest way I think to climb out of it. It’s just neutralize next best thought neutralize next best slot. Yeah.

Gianna Diggs  35:22  

I love that. I love that process. And I think it’s, it’s super easy, but I will say what the last thing you said made me think of like gratitude of oh, just be grateful. Right? And I think I’m gonna do I said I was gonna do like a blog or even a show about, like, what happens when you don’t feel grateful? Right? You know, I was like, oh, you know, to get yourself in higher vibration, you got to feel grateful. And I’m like, what if the things that you feel like you don’t, you know, if you should be grateful, but you don’t you’re not connecting to the gratitude. Right? So I’m glad you said that, because I think people like what you’re, you’re just ungrateful. It’s so negative, like, no, it’s just this is the circumstance. And yes, I should be great. And like, I can feel grateful for this being the way it is. But, you know, you can’t tell me how to feel grateful. Right now in this moment, that thing that I don’t feel grateful for this thing. And that’s okay. You know, okay.

Eva Rodriguez  36:13  

And it’s normal, right? And that’s what I think where we want to normalize all of these things. Because a lot because I think what happens often, with a lot of like the toxic positivity people, it’s just like, you shouldn’t be happy, why aren’t you happy? There’s people starving, there’s, like, they try to like, take you there. And again, if you’re anything like most of us were like, cognitive dissonance. It’s like, I understand that there’s people over there doing, but right now I’m thinking about all my problems. And I feel better, you know, any better, right? But they were there just because someone else has it worse than me. Doesn’t make me feel better in this moment. And I like when people say that I’m just like, but yeah, it’s true. It’s like, sometimes we don’t feel grateful about anything. Sometimes you just want to be mad, right? And it’s okay. And I only say it’s like them be mad. And let’s be mad. Let’s talk about all of it. Like, let’s get it all out of you so that you’re not stewing. Because what a lot of people do is they stew in the negative a student, we want you to like, we don’t want you to bypass it. We don’t want you to live there, either. We just want you to process it. Just process.

Gianna Diggs  37:15  

Right. Yeah. And that’s when you still gonna talk. Right? And then when we was just thinking, and then when you still guess what it gets stored in your body. So that all goes back to the emotional wellness of

Eva Rodriguez  37:24  

1. Yep, it’s right back to the top of the show.

Gianna Diggs  37:27  

Right, right. takes us right back to the beginning. So before we go, This was so fun. Before we go, can you let everyone know where they can find you online? Yeah, absolutely.

Eva Rodriguez  37:39  

So I’m on Instagram at. It’s just it’s Eva Rodriguez is my handle. And my website is Eva dot fit. And my podcast is uncomplicated weight loss and it’s on all major platforms.

Gianna Diggs  37:51  

All right, Eva, thank you so much for being here. This was eye opening, and just a beautiful conversation.

Eva Rodriguez  37:58  

Thank you so much, Gianna

Gianna Diggs  38:04  

Thank you for tuning into today’s episode of The mompreneur mindset podcast. I truly hope that our conversation has inspired and motivated you to take charge of your entrepreneurial journey. If you found today’s episode valuable. Please take a moment and SUBSCRIBE And leave us a review on your preferred podcast platform. Your support means the world to me, and it’s vital for helping me to reach more entrepreneurs like you and empower our growing community to thrive. Until next time, keep pushing boundaries. Never settle and remember, the world is waiting for your unique gifts that only you can offer. See you in the next episode.

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